The women around me seem to agree that this is also not particularly sexily done in this game. 'The human bra' move is a thing that boys thought was sexy in secondary school and made me sad. The first thing we do when we start the game is the 'human bra' where you are supposed to cup boobs to make the girl moan. The game is a little jerky and is pretty difficult to control, and the in-game women stare a little unsettlingly back at you as if you're doing something wrong. There are 'education' levels you have to get past to get to scenes where there is more than one woman to look at. The women are of similar pubeless body shapes and seem generally without personality, apart from you can customise their looks. It has a rudimentary system of 'testing' you as a player: you move the mouse up and down but not TOO much - if you go over a line indicated that is TOO INTENSE for the woman and you have to try again. Girlvania: Summer Lust is a game about doing sex acts to ladies with a sort of disembodied ghost hand, which is quite creepy in itself. We gather around the laptop in the booth and put our fingers rather sensually on the trackpad. The Museum of Sex bar in New York is very dark and plays a lot of Drake. Anyway this is not going to be safe for work (in text or images) and prepare yourself for Jeff Goldblum sweats.

Asking New York lesbians what they think of virtual women fucking each other over outlandishly named cocktails. Is this a thing you can count as your job? I guess this is my job now. What I did was I got some All Girls together (women who have sex with other women) in the New York Museum of Sex bar, plied them with alcohol, and asked them to look at the game. Someone sent me this 'All-Girl Sex Simulation' Girlvania because I guess I have this reputation now.

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